Excerpts from an essay I wrote in high school about how my height has changed me:
High Expectations written sometime in Spring 2010
It is so close to my all the time. It is one of my best friends and worst enemies. It follows me every day, and still I forget it is there. This morning I woke up ready for the day and quickly went through my morning routine. Clothes, make-up, breakfast--all in a blur. Everything went just like normal. I muttered a hurried "I love you," to my parents as my siblings and I hurried out the door and off to school, bringing my forgotten companion along. I found my best friend, and we walked into school together to be greeted with a, "Hey! It's the 'Twin Towers!'" Then I remember...
Oh yeah...I'm tall.
It is most certainly a love-hate relationship. My height is an advantage and an obstacle--a blessing and a curse. It has, in a sense, created me. I am by no means outrageously tall. I am a six-foot, two-inch girl. I am not a giant, but my height has still played a significant role in my life. This oddity of mine has accelerated my mental growth, made me confident, and has developed my sense of humor.
When I think back to my childhood, I can only remember seeing the tops of my peers heads. I have been taller than them for as long as I can remember, and I have towered over all my teachers since the second grade. It was not easy, but I tried not to dwell on it. I knew I was intimidating to some, ... and I knew from an early age that a great deal was expected of me. I looked older than my peers, and my teachers treated me so. They gave me responsibilities other children my age did not have. They pushed me to read harder books and get better grades.
Most adults expected me to be different from what I was. I received quizzical looks from them when I went out on Halloween or when I played certain games. They expected me to be more responsible than my friends, and when I failed to be so, the consequences were more severe. For a long time, I was confused by this. I could not understand the difference between my friends and me. This was one of the causes of my introversion. I stopped doing things that
might have got me into trouble, and I stopped being just like any other child. ... I grew up rapidly. I learned to think like an adult, in a way. I figured out what they wanted of me, and I learned to step up to the plate to do it.
My height has greatly influenced my self confidence as well. I have a natural tendency toward shyness, a trait my height has not been kind to. I have never gone through a school day without a comment about my height. (Surprising, as I attended 13 years of school with the same class of 85 people.) People always look at me. I knew it then, and I know it now. This is a frightening realization--especially for me. Because I do not blend in well, I know that people are watching me all the time, and I do not want to leave a bad impression. I can not sink back unnoticed, and coming to terms with this fact was very hard for my shy disposition.
My first encounter with confidence was brought about by a sweet, elderly neighbor of mine. I was walking into church, slouched over and unsmiling when I passed her. She looked up at me with a huge smile and sparkling blue eyes, and exclaimed, "I always love to walk by you! You are taller than me, and so beautiful, too! Don't you ever slouch to hide that beautiful height of yours!" That was all, and she was on her way. I was taken aback. ... I have tried ever since to never slouch; I even started to wear high heels. I learned to have good posture and make myself presentable, and I started to make new friends. I learned that people could like me in spite of my height. I still received thoughtless statements and stares, but I learned to disregard them. I noticed that people of all ages listened to me when I spoke. I grew to be assertive and somewhat daring, and I have not been sorry.
This nuisance of mine has also taught me to laugh. I once heard that being tall is like being a movie star. It is true to a degree. I am stopped and questioned by strangers in public places, people stare at me, strangers talk about me as I walk by, and my clothes are expensive--not to mention nearly impossible to find! (Sometimes they are even custom-made...by Ma or myself.) When children refer to me as a giant, I play a long to their amusement. I have learned to laugh at myself and all the height related jokes that come my way. I poke more fun at my abnormality than anyone else.
I once played a game called 'Chicken in the Hen House' on a group date. It is a crazy game with a great deal of running, laughing, and hilarious stunts. My date was about a foot-and-a-half shorter than me, and I told him that if there was any lifting involved, we were going to do the stunts backwards. We became the life of the party. While all the other girls jumped into their dates arms, I was the only girl holding my date. We had to end the round early because no one, including me, could stop laughing. I have never been on a date with someone taller than me (Correction: I have now been on
one date with a boy taller than me.), but I have learned to make them laugh at the situation and we eventually forget about it.
For a long time, my height was a burden to me, but now I can see it is a blessing in disguise. It, by itself, demands respect. It has shown me my own strength and abilities, and developed parts of my character. Being tall has given me many opportunities to learn about myself and the world. It has taught me to laugh and has been the cause of many smiles. It is my companion forever, and I am certainly glad to have it around.
