You thought I was kidding didn't you. I wasn't. We've been here for a good couple of hours.
We sit and chat about how we feel we are perceived, how we perceive ourselves, what things we can improve on, the works. It's a very interesting conversation—always different, and always eye-opening.
Tonight we've all been taking surveys—most specifically the VIA Character Strengths Survey, and the 5 love languages survey. They're great and give a lot of insight into who someone is.
My love languages survey goes like this:
Quality Time = 11 points
Physical Touch = 9 points
Acts of service = 6 points
Receiving Gifts = 2 points
Words of Affirmation = 2 points
And it's interesting. First of all because college life is soooooo conducive to self-centeredness (for me as well), and I can never find people who want to spend quality time; and second because I feel that Words of Affirmation is the most commonly used and pointless language of love.
(That's just for me, though. If they help you, kudos.)
I feel that Words of Affirmation is the "Sweet Hour of Prayer*" (pardon the metaphor) of the love languages. It's the default. It's used too much, and it's usually superficial. ...to the point where it gets annoying.
For me specifically, the flaw with Words of Affirmation is that I believe I have a very accurate idea of who I am and nothing anyone says is going to change that. It's nice to get compliments, but I know exactly how I look/act/am, and I already love myself. I don't need you to tell me in order for me to appreciate who I am.
(Note: Compliments are still welcome. Especially if it's a super-specific something because that tells me you spent some quality time (see section below) thinking about it. A "Hey! Good job." does pretty much nothing.)
I feel much more loved when people show me they love me. When they take the time to sit down and talk—to show me that I matter and that my ideas matter—that's what gets me. When they want to build a relationship like I do. One that finally gets past the small talk and the superficiality, that's when I truly get to know and appreciate who they are. I finally get to know them, and they finally distinguish themselves from the masses of seemingly similar people surrounding them.
That's when they become important to me and when I become important to them.
Okay, self-analysis done.
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*For those who don't know, "Sweet Hour of Prayer" is the easiest hymn to play in the LDS hymnbook. Because of this, it is over-sung.
