Tall Tales IV: Concerts are the Worst

I'm going to introduce you to a worry you've probably never worried before:

I have had this worry every day forever.  Whenever I'm walking in a group, I always hang back.  When I took anatomy, I always shoved shorter people in front of me, and would then crane my neck over them to see the specimens and cadavers.  If I take a picture with a group, I always shout, "Back seat, middle, feet on the hump! I call it!" and bolt to the back.  Always and forever.

And when I say forever, I mean forever.

I remember going to see a ballet during a second-grade field trip.  We all got the the ginormous concert hall, and took our seats.  As the ballet started, I realized that the second graders behind me were much shorter than I was and probably couldn't see over me.  (I was taller than my second grade teacher.)

I'd been in that place before.  I hated it!  I didn't want to be the big-headed, tall person everyone hated!  So what did I do?  My little second grade self?

I slouched.

I sunk as low as I possibly could in that seat until my spine was twisted into a pretzel and my backside wasn't even on the cushion.  And I stayed that way the whole ballet long.  Could I see?  Not really.  But the people behind me could.

To this day, I relive this experience every time I go to a concert, play, or performance that doesn't have stadium-ish seating.  A couple weeks ago, I went to Extravadance at BYU-Idaho with some friends.  The floor wasn't sloped enough and the seats were all lined up right behind each other.  To make matters worse, my knees were shoved clear up into the seat in front of me forcing me to sit as straight and tall as possible.

And thus my slouchy technique for guilt avoidance was thwarted.  There was just no way.

So!  To combat the growing guilt inside me, I didn't move.  I picked where my head was going to be, and I held it there the whole concert long.  I didn't talk to people.  I didn't move so I could see around the guy's head in front of me.  I watched the whole concert like this:

Then again, so did the girl sitting behind me.  And I felt bad the whole time.  Thoughts like "She's not getting her ticket's worth..." and the like kept coming into my mind, and boy was I relieved when it was  all over.

Let's face it.  This is the reason I avoid "standing room only" concerts.

I'd feel guilty.  The. Whole. Time.