Speaking of Dreams I: The New Dresscode

I've decided I'm going to write about my most interesting dreams from time to time.

Buckle up.

While I was home this summer the bishopric and the boundaries of my ward changed.  I came back to an entirely different system from the one I had left, and apparently I was a little anxious about it because I had the following dream:

I am at church my first Sunday back.  I am dressed very nicely and pretty conservative.  I'm wearing a white skirt, a lovely light, pink blouse, my hair is long and curly, and I'm not wearing high heels.  Instead of walking right into the chapel, I go to the Relief Society room to check on something.  On my way back, the second councilor in the bishopric stops me to visit:

"Hello, you're new, aren't you?"

"Well, not new necessarily, but to you I am," I reply.

"It's nice to meet you.  I'm just going to warn you really quick that we have a new dress code in this ward.  You're not in compliance, but it's alright.  You didn't know.  Just for future reference, you'll have to abide by it in the future.  I'll see you later!" And he leaves me to find my seat.

Confused, I walk into the chapel for Sacrament Meeting.  As I sit, I keep hearing whispers from people, and they all seem directed toward me.  Even more confused, I try to direct my attention to the speakers.

When Sacrament Meeting finishes the bishop's wife grabs a folding chair, sets it up in front of the first pew, climbs up on it, and proclaims in a loud, nasally voice for all to hear, "Ladies!  (gesturing toward me) Once again, there is a new dress code in this ward.  It's not church-wide, but it is still very important that you abide by it when you come to church.  You all should know by now that the rule is this: your skirts must be six inches longer than your legs."

I look around me to see all the women of the ward tripping over their ridiculously long skirts, and I think heck no!  That's the stupidest rule I've ever heard!  They don't make skirts long enough to cover my knees!  Where would I find a skirt that long!  And I am not making them.  I don't have the time, the fabric, or the money.  They can shove it!  I'm wearing pencil skirts for the rest of the year!